so it is

there's really no sense in hiding it or hiding from it...i stress about shit. i'm sure some of you are already well aware of this and anyone on facebook probably realizes that i'm already a bit worked up about the 101. maybe stressed isn't the right word, but in all reality it probably is. in some sick way i think its part of what i enjoy. just like transiowa, it has started to consume my thinking. gearing, tires, how to pack, what to pack, what to drop, when to leave, where to camp, how many tubes, how much co2, how many bottles, how long can i go between refills, how much water do i need to take in and how often, what food to take on the ride, how many gu's, am i still as fit as i was for ouachita and transiowa, can i do it rigid, how will my body react if its raging hot, what are my goals, what will i be happy with, what will i be content with...it just goes on and on. christ, i have two more races before i even head out for this thing and they've already taken a mental backseat. what makes me feel silly is that as soon as they say "go" then i know all of this shit won't matter. vassago has built one hell of a frame. travis keeps it running awesomely despite my lack of maintenance and regularly scheduled flogging of parts. its a single speed...its pretty tough to have a catastrophic mechanical. i've done endurance races...my body has failed in glorious fashion and i've learned a lot about nutrition...nutrition specifically to me. brad keyes and his carborocket takes care of my hydration and has had a huge impact on my cramping and stomach issues. beef sticks rule. i have awesome friends and family supporting me. but still...i stress. i keep a pretty calm demeanor but inside i pretty much freak out. so it is. taking squirrel's advice, i'll go ride my fucking bike. and i'll smile. and for a short time i'll quit stressing. someday my competitiveness will probably start to fade...maybe.