thoughts on transiowa...in october

its been almost 6 months since transiowa. my last post and ari's comment got me thinking more about it again. i'm not sure i've spent many days without at least a fleeting thought about it. yeah, its easy to be disappointed in how it ended this year, but luckily its easier to be excited about next year. there are many, many stories from transiowa...some of them very personal and some of them involving the awesome people i spent time suffering with. however...one moment will always stand out...one moment burned into my memory. one that i won't ever forget, but hopefully one that will soften when...yes WHEN i finish this fucking race. after everything i'd gone through fighting the wind, getting lost, paralyzing cramps, then the graciousness of the group of single speeders that i met up with as i killed myself trying to get back on schedule...the feeling of hitting the pavement at the top of that small rise on the final gravel road. hitting the top of that hill and looking down into wadena, then looking at my computer. we could see all of wadena and had it not been for a row of houses, we could have seen the group gathered at the checkpoint. look back at my computer...2:00 p.m. i was standing on the edge of wadena, blocks from the checkpoint, only a third of the way into the race but having already gone through hell...and it was over. a calm acceptance hit harder than i expected, but my race was over. going into transiowa i knew my race would end when i finished, my bike broke or my legs stopped functioning. a time cutoff was never in the plans and i had no idea how to handle it. it was a strange feeling standing on the top of that hill looking into wadena...one that i can still feel everytime i think about it. somedays its still a tough feeling to manage...its certainly a feeling of something left unfinished. somedays its a feeling that makes me smile knowing i will have another shot at this thing. yeah...that definitely makes me smile.